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Two weeks ago I looked down at my stomach. He was moving around again. I filmed it. Its actually pretty cool. As I watched, I wondered what part of his little body was pushing out this way and that. I could feel his heel up in my rib. ‘I will need to invest in a few good one-piece swimsuits for next summer.’

And now, I sit with a sweet new little baby. He is as perfect as I could ever hope for, in every way. But lets get down to the nitty gritty.

BEWARE: GRAPHIC CONTENT. NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!!!

No tear or stitching needed from the delivery. Vaginally, I feel pretty fine. I took Ibuprofen religiously every 8 hours. The nurse offered pain pills but those never sit well with me. As far as cramps go, I have felt some discomfort if I forget to take my ibuprofen 800’s. BUT, its the BUTT that has got me really worried. Things are out where they should be in! I am seriously considering ThermiVa for that region, too. Preparation H has been a god-send. HA HA, if you think this is funny but this is for REAL. My friend offered a donut for me to sit on during that first week. I never got round to getting it but wish I would have. That would have made sitting more manageable. Now that I am headed in to 3 weeks post delivery, I can sit way more comfortably but I am wondering if the, ok I will just say it, the hemorrhoids will ever go back to where they belong.

Essentials that helped me during the first two weeks after delivery:

For the the V and the B (Vagina and Bum)

  • Prep H

  • Disposable panties (the ugly kind from the hospital)

  • Lots of pads (the kind that go in your disposable undies – My husband bought me bed wetting pads instead of panty pads – oops)

  • Panty liners (during the day for when the bleeding slows)

  • The squeeze bottle with warm water (use every time you go toilet. CLEAN AND FRESH…ish)

  • Cold Pack (well, I put this on my bum. To be honest, it didn’t do much for me aside from adding to the present discomfort.)

  • Almost forgot, the stool softener (5 days passed before having a BM. I was so so so glad I took the softener.)

For the rest of me

  • I kept my phone close so I could time my feedings (CAUTION: Late night feedings can lead to mass expenses from late night Amazon purchases. It has been like Christmas every day!)

  • Lots of comfy pillows

  • Splurge on a few nice nursing bras if you plan on breast feeding. I never bought proper nursing bras before, an unfortunate mistake. Nursing is so much nicer when you have the right support and access.

  • A good eye cream. Trust me on this one or avoid looking in the mirror for the next few weeks.

  • Lots and lots of water! It helps to flush out the excess fluids from all the IV stuff they have you on at the hospital. Plus, water is essential.

  • Eat plenty! Don’t skip or sleep through meals.

  • Nursing pads

  • Chapstick close by (my lips got so dry)

  • I designated an area in the house besides my bedroom to nurse and change the baby so that I could come out and hang with the family without having to go back upstairs to my bedroom.)

My Struggles

Emotional Struggles

Emotionally, postpartum is a serious deal. The emotions are so strong and very real. Even though I can recognize my rollercoaster feelings, it has made them no less easier to deal with. There have been lots of tears and feelings of being overwhelmed. My little toddler came and gave me a hug and said “its ok mama” when he saw me having a little cry session. We see all these rosy pictures on social media, but the truth is postpartum is not all rosy. Baby blues are real. Having someone to talk through your feelings with, validate you, and help you realize you are still a normal human being can be a tremendous asset during these challenging few months. No one likes to post about the ugly truth of sleepless nights (thus the eye cream) because it ain’t pretty to take a picture of. I don’t even want to post a picture of it. But for those of you wanting to be prepared or feel included, emotional struggles are no laughing matter. Find someone who you can talk to. Don’t carry the weight of your feelings alone. If you don’t have anyone you can talk to, find an online group you can chat with. Facebook has a bunch of support groups. The Healing Group is a great resource and places like Aviva Woman can help nurture you back to feeling YOU again. For me, I live it moment to moment. Parts of the day can go really really well and then it can all come crashing down just when you feel like things are going smoothly. Yes, I love motherhood, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world! But, it is tough at times, and I sometimes struggle to feel bad or sad without feeling guilty. I love my babies, I have a wonderful life. There is much to be grateful for BUT I say this for myself right now, It is okay to have feelings of loneliness, being overwhelmed, unsure, etc. The sun will shine again and life will only continue to get better as adjustments become routines.

Physical Struggles

Physically. Well, because I’m up all hours and squinting in the dark, I feel like I have a permanent wrinkle between my eyebrows. I will be getting ThermiSmooth and taking pictures of that journey along the way, hopefully as soon as next week. I could really use a few facials, not a fluffy, feel-good facial, but a glycolic chemical peel that will help clean my skin and increase production of collagen and elastin fibers. I think I look older than I should. My youth is fading away from me!!! COME BACK!  I talked about the bum, a major issue for me right now. My tummy is stretched. Its not as bad as I imagined but its not nice either. I wish I was one of those ladies who never get stretch marks or who get them in places you can hide. My stretched areas are front and center all around my belly button.  I don’t like it one bit. I guess I can get some kind of surgery for that (I already have a c-section scar) but I really don’t think much can be done about it; however, one piece swimsuits are making a come-back!

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