Managing the Bins
Looking around the house, there are several piles or bins that are crammed with stuff that doesn't belong in the given room. This is my attempt at cleanliness. At some point, I will empty these blasted bins and find a home for all the items in them. Laundry is in piles and closets look barren. Speaking of clothes, did anything I own ever look good on me??? And did I actually like these old clothes I had before pregnancy? I'm seeing a common theme with my house that mirrors my brain. All the various ME's (mother, wife, career woman, friend, the fun self if she is still there) are compartmentalized into different bins in my head as I try to complete tasks from each 'bin' at some point during the day or week. 'Try,' is the key word in that last sentence. This post is all about the 'Trying.'
Before focusing on the mental work, I'll brush up on the physical changes going on. The 'back door' region, I am so happy to say, is getting better. Though I still find myself wondering if ThermiVa could also be used...shall I say, behind. Things are feeling more normal. This next topic is sensitive, too. I have been experiencing some intimate dryness which is causing redness and irritation. I know this is because my body is not producing hormones right now so I am really eager to start my first ThermiVa to help with intimate dryness. Folks, its not glamorous but its the truth! Aside from the dryness, the lady parts seem to be back to normal. Yes, I have checked down there with a mirror and can say things are looking like they did before. Thats a relief. What I need to start doing is hitting the gym. Is there a movie, Honey, I shrunk Your Muscles? Because I can't see anything that resembles muscle tone.
"Men can suffer from postpartum depression,"
Moving on to the mental and emotional progression of postpartum, this area still needs some help. As I mentioned in the last post, postpartum can be a real struggle for women and its different for each pregnancy. I am still experiencing anxiety and days of sadness from being overwhelmed. I just learned that this can happen to men, too. Men can suffer from postpartum depression from lower levels of testosterone. Interestingly, my husband has been on bio-identical hormone pellets and had a placement just last week. I thought he was starting to act more moody two weeks ago! And to think, I believed he was reacting to my lousy attitude. It turns out, it could have been the male version of postpartum and not my fault after all. Finally, a win! For me, I have decided to try a low dose of progesterone. A new study from Yale reported that doses of progesterone helped postpartum smokers stay away from smoking. I think it helped these women maintain a more calm attitude, which kept them from picking up the smoking habit again. I have never been a smoker but studies show that lower levels of this hormone can cause all sorts of these negative feelings associated with postpartum. Luckily, our provider Tara, has coached me on the why's and how to take my bio-identical progesterone capsule. I get them at a compounding pharmacy in Sandy, Brighton Pharmacy. A word, these make you sleepy! Take them at night. I took my first one last night and was REALLY sleepy when I was waking up to feed the baby for his night feedings. By the way, I've heard people take this to help get restful deep sleep over sleeping pills.
I will let you know how this works out as I take my capsules during the next few weeks. One thought, since the last post, I think admitting that I was having a hard time adjusting and feeling seriously overwhelmed has really helped! It was extremely scary to talk about these emotional challenges. The physical changes are more humorous to describe. It is the emotional topics that frightened me the most to share. But that is the whole point of Aviva Woman, our community's safe place for women to share and discuss intimate issues free from scorn, judgement, and pressure. If I can't start the conversation, who can I turn to, to do so?
Getting this out there helps me unload my emotional 'bin' for today. I still have lots of laundry and sorting to do but I will close the lid and prioritize what needs to be done now, which is rest and (background baby cry) and feed this little heart of mine.